America's SBDC Professional Development Center

Verse on Sincerity

by Jim Mall

woman holding bouquet

Sincerity is truth.

Some say that truth needs to be embraced. I believe in the opposite. What does embrace mean? To take hold…to encage.

The truth. Your true self, your true thoughts, your true desires. They need to be released.

Sincerity is what gives you character…charm. It’s not so much that I am straightforward when it comes to approaching brides or sex even, it’s that I truly express my emotions, my true thoughts, at all times.

This is what gives me my charm. You know, one second I’ll be this very pissed off asshole, and the next, I’ll be extremely nice. I’m not going to front and try to act like I don’t have a heart, because I too, am human. Nor am I going to kiss ass, just for a piece of it.

Being too hardcore Mr. Pimpdaddy, or Mr. Perfectniceguy are both fake. And brides hate fake men. They want someone real. You hear brides say that they want a nice guy. And you also hear them say that they love badboys. Which is it?

What they mean by this, is that they want a man who is touch with himself at all times, and not afraid to express it. Nice guys try to hide the fact they want sex and want to say something that might be considered rude. Bad boys try to hide that they have a heart. The majority of men fall into one of the two categories (most in the nice guy category).

Example? I’ll give a couple from The Real Assanova blog. In an older story that took place at least two years ago, there were two blondes that walked into the former two story Steak N Shake on campus.

These brides looked like porn stars, and the place was crowded full of guys just staring and making random comments from afar. I was scared shitless to approach these brides (I was still terrified of approaching then), but acting on my emotions, I went over and said ‘How are you ladies doing tonight?’.

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Everyone in the entire restaurant laughed, and the two brides just stared at me. What happened? These two brides knew that it took an enormous amount of balls to just approach them in front of everyone, and they invited me to sit down to talk to them. Stunned in disbelief, everyone shut up.

The point is, if I wasn’t being sincere with myself about what I wanted, and acted on it, saying EXACTLY what was on my mind, I would have never captivated the minds of those two brides.

Another quick example is the “Ohio Boys (part 2)” post, near the end. I told the girl ‘Fuck you!’, exactly what was on my mind at that point in time, and she ended up chasing me down to talk to me.

That’s what “just be yourself” means. It’s you not holding back. Some say that they’re just being themselves around these brides, when the truth is that they’re lying to themselves. Do they honestly, and immediately, tell that attractive woman that they think she’s attractive? No, they don’t. So, in reality, they aren’t being their true selves.

Brides respond to emotions, of all kinds. The men that get these brides, are the men that freely express themselves, both good and bad. This is being sincere, not holding back. Not trying to be too nice, and not trying to be too hardcore.

I’ll tell you right now, from experience, when you freely express all extremes of your personality, both good and bad, brides fall, and they fall hard. Sincerity at all times, for better, or for worse.


Express your true emotions within reason (don’t do it if there are criminal consequences)

Express your true emotions in a timely manner (don’t wait until it’s too late)

Brides want emotions

A variety of emotions will give you charm

If you’re being REAL, then you should never come off as too nice or too bad

Yes, it feels awkward at first, but like doing anything, overtime, the “butterflies (queasy gut feeling)” will eventually go away



One of my most memorable moments on The Real Assanova blog, was when I first approached that girl surrounded by six guys and she pulled me away from all of them to talk to me. For this activity, I want you to approach a woman, preferably surrounded by men, and tell her exactly what you’re thinking. And remember, approach with authority.

What was her reaction? And how did you feel after it was over?

*Although a lot of my older interactions with brides exhibited this behavior, it wasn’t consistent. Mode One ( was the guy who wrote an entire book on this and convinced me to stick with it, so check it out. It’s worth a read.


Ronald Reagan. Do you know why so many people loved him and why he was elected President of the United States? Hint: It wasn’t because of his skill to lead. If I remember correctly, on paper, his competitor had him beat. Ronald Reagan was an actor, with very little political experience compared to his competitor.

So, why did Reagan win the election? He was sincere, human…people can connect with someone who is human. As human beings, we are all about connecting with one another. And what do connections run on? Emotions and shared experiences. This is what Reagan had plenty of, and that’s why the American public fell in love with him.

Sincerity is a range of emotions. And if you wish to make genuine connections with brides, or people in general, you must be sincere. Like I mentioned before, if you try too hard to be nice, or too hard to be hardcore, you will come off as fake, and no connection will be made.

There are plenty of examples all around us. Who would you rather do business with, the person down the street who has a range of emotions and human sincerity, or some guy yapping off at the mouth on TV about how perfect his business is? My point exactly. You know that the second person is fake, and immediately, a red flag goes up.

What I have just revealed to you, is my main secret for connecting with brides. For every woman, I have an experience that relates to her. And my range of emotions that I show, makes me come off as a very human guy.

Just last night, I commented on how well an ex-girlfriend looked. Being an asshole, she thought that comment was very sweet of me. This is how I keep my brides around for so long. I give them a wide range of human emotions and sincerity.


In a time of crisis, sincerity must go out of the window. This is when you have to go from human to God-like status. When the shit hits the fan, would you want your leader pouring out emotions everywhere? No. You would want someone that seems in control of the situation.

For example, lets say that you and your wife just lost everything you own. What do you think she needs? Definitely not a man that doesn’t sound sure of himself. Even though you may be freaking out, unsure of what to do, you have to remain calm, offering that re-assurance that you have everything under control.

There isn’t much to this reverse, except for common sense. In a time of crisis, there may be a need for you not to show your true emotions.